


Broken

by jarvis_ismy_copilot



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, At least I tried, BTW, Chubby Reader, Edit, F/M, Sorry Not Sorry, You Have Been Warned, but hey, happy ending in chapter two, i'm not really good with this, no happy ending, she didn't like the sadness, so obviously i complied, so she asked me for a sequel with happiness, spoiler for seven's real name, spoiler for seven's route, which has been added after being persuaded by my bff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-16 13:30:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10572300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarvis_ismy_copilot/pseuds/jarvis_ismy_copilot
Summary: " 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you've gone away. "MC is insecure about her body (she's chubby) and Seven (I make use of his real name throughout the story) uses that to push her away. The story captures the aftermath of that.





	1. Of tears and heartbreak

You were lying on your bed, looking up at the ceiling with tears in the corners of your eyes. You were trying so hard to keep the tears from spilling because you knew that once you allowed that to happen, they would flow down your cheeks like rivers and it would be damn near impossible to stop any time soon. However, the burning in your throat and chest did not help and all it took for the dam to break was the image of the previous event to flash before your eyes. Soon, sobs accompanied by hiccups and sniffles echoed off the walls of the empty bedroom.

 

Your eyes were burning from tears which prompted you to take off your glasses and try to wipe them away, but to no avail. The salty streams continued to flow freely from your [E/C] eyes, your sobs getting louder despite your useless attempts at silencing yourself. You shut your eyes tightly, biting into your fist, curling into yourself to try and keep silent as to not disturb and alert the occupant of the room right next to yours of your anguish, but it seemed like your body wanted to make your pain known to the one who had hurt you in the first place.

 

Every time it seemed like you had calmed yourself and your crying had subsided, another image of his face, another echo of his voice, of his **words** flashed in your mind and the sobbing started all over again. You couldn't help yourself, really. You were usually good at hiding your emotions, at least until you were somewhere secluded so that you could let it all out, but this time you barely had any time to get out of the room before the ache in your chest became unbearable and the tears started brimming your eyes. Because unlike any other time, the person who had hurt you meant more to you than any other. It was someone you had trusted with your heart, for the first time in your life, someone you believed was different, was **better** than that. Someone who knew **exactly** how to hurt you, and someone you had thought would never do it. Saeyoung had broken your heart just a few minutes before, and it hurt more because you knew he hadn't meant it. He was so adamant about keeping you away that he was willing to deliberately hurt your feelings and hit exactly where he knew hurt the most - your weight.

 

You had told him a few days before (before he had even come to the apartment) that you had never had a boyfriend in your entire life, not even in high school, when **everyone** had had at least a one night stand or something. The reason was simple -you were overweight. Guys didn't like that, and honestly, it would've been fine by you if that had been all it was. But they didn't stop at just rejecting you or not giving you any attention, they had to make fun of you, insult you, ask you out as a joke, place bets on who could make you cry first, and so on.

 

High school was hell for you, because the insults got worse than before, and your self-esteem lowered so much that you didn't even think there was any left anymore. That was until you joined the RFA and started talking with everybody, Saeyoung in particular. You knew he knew what you looked like, but he still flirted with you, joked around and just was his adorable, lovable self whenever he talked to you, whether it be in the chat rooms or during phone calls. That made your heart flutter in a weird way, one which you had never felt before with anyone, and it gave you hope that maybe you had found that one person who would love you the way you could never love yourself, as your mother had promised you on those days when your self hatred got the better of you.

 

That was your first mistake, hoping. You hated having hope, because hoping meant letting your guard down, it meant making it easier for people to hurt you, and in the end it was all your fault for the pain they had inflicted upon you. But you thought it was worth it, if it was Saeyoung. He was worth all the pain, all the hurt, all the heartbreak in the world.

 

But sitting now on your cold bed, in the empty bedroom as sobs shook your body and made you tremble, the loneliness and self hatred felt like stones tied to your feet as the ocean pulled you down, deeper, further towards the bottom, towards darkness and deafening silence and nothingness. The silence in the room made your ears ring painfully, the emptiness beside you on the bed made you shiver, and your heart had never felt so broken and empty in all your [your age] years of life.

 

You so desperately wanted Saeyoung beside you, wanted to cling to him and hold him close to you, wanted to feel his body next to yours, to confirm that he was real and that he was there. Because you knew he needed it just as much as you did. Because despite the hurtful words that had escaped his mouth (" _pathetic_ ", " _fat_ ", " _you're making me laugh_ ", " _just stop already_ "), he was hurting just as much as you were, he was hating himself and regretting it more than mostly anything in his life, and he **needed you**. But he was too afraid to let himself get close, too afraid to let you in, to come into your room and hug you and apologize and love you as much as he wanted to. He was too afraid, and you didn't even know of what. And it frustrated you and made you angry, but most of all it hurt you and broke your heart all over again because he didn't trust you, because he wasn't giving you the chance of choosing for yourself if you wanted to be a part of whatever he was involved in or not.

 

Lost in your thoughts, you hadn't even noticed when the tears stopped pouring out of your eyes. You had calmed down, only the occasional hiccup or sniffle escaping you. Now you mostly felt numb, a kind of fatigue having taken over your body and replaced the hurt. Your lids were starting to close bit by bit and you fought to keep yourself from falling into unconsciousness because _what if he decides to come to me ? what if he wants to apologize and just **stop being an idiot** ?_ Your body was trying to shut down to recover after the tiring crying session from before, but you stubbornly opened your eyes again and strained your ears to make sure you didn't miss his footsteps or his soft, melodic voice. You were sure he would come to his senses and come barging into the room any second now, but you never got to find out for yourself as your body won the fight and shut down in a matter of seconds. Sleep overtook your body and light snores escaped you as your pained expression morphed into a peaceful one, albeit a little sad.

 

You curled into yourself on the lonely bed, trying to provide the warmth someone else's body should have provided, and a shaky sigh escaped your parted lips. _No one came into your room that night._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the other side of the door, a slumped figure was leaning against it, knees drawn to his body, head on his knees, and hands in his hair, gripping the flaming strands. Tears fell silently from the golden eyes hidden by fogged glasses, and a whisper, barely audible escaped his pink lips. "I'm sorry. It's for your own good, please understand."

 

He wanted to get up, open the door, and envelop her in his body, hold her close and make her feel the love she deserved. He wanted to be the person she needed. _He remained there, leaning against the door, crying softly for the rest of the night in the cold, dark, empty apartment._


	2. Of laughter and making up

The first rays of sunlight spilled into the room through the naked window and caressed your skin delicately. With a scrunch of the nose you turned your head away in a displeased manner and burrowed your face into the pillow deeper. A satisfied sigh left your lips and you tuned out the outside world yet again, falling asleep again almost immediately.

Saeyoung was standing in the doorway with a mug of fresh coffee and one of tea. He smiled at the adorable display and could feel his heart warm up and swell in his chest at the sight of you on the bed, uncovered, soft, [S/C] skin kissed by the morning sunlight. His eyes traveled up from your bare feet, to your thick thighs, to your plush belly, and stopped on your face.

The tear tracks from last night had vanished and in their place he could see the outline of your pillow case, a sign of a good night’s sleep, he hoped.

He couldn’t help but feel his heart ache at the thought of last night. He hadn’t seen you crying, but the look of hurt and heartbreak on your face right before you bolted out of the room and the sound of sobbing and sniffling were enough to make him regret his words and attitude.

Saeyoung didn’t have many regrets, but pushing you away in such a cruel way was definitely one of them, it taking the first place on his list, right alongside leaving his brother and joining the agency. And if he was willing to find his brother and repair things between them, then he was absolutely adamant about fixing things with you.

Nothing could excuse his words and actions, he knew that, but he also knew you were such a gentle, kind person and that you would forgive him. God, you were too good for him.

The hacker took a few steps further into the room and set the two steaming mugs on the nightstand before gently sitting on the bed right next to you, careful of not disturbing you.

As if moving of its own accord, his hand softly touched your hair and started stroking it. His fingers weaved through the soft strands and he found himself mesmerized by the peaceful feeling pouring into his exhausted body at the action.

Thinking back to last night, his chest tightened and he brought his stroking to a halt involuntarily. The thought that he should have done this last night, when you were crying and hurting and just needed to be comforted by a loving touch and soothing voice, the thought that you had fallen asleep crying, alone, uncomforted, it all made him mad at himself, and he had to shut his eyes tightly in order to keep the tears from springing from the corners of his eyes.

With a shaky exhale, Saeyoung opened his eyes and looked down at your sleeping face. A smile blossomed on his face at the sight and he started stroking your hair again with the thought that he would make it up to you after you woke up and until the day he died.

Glancing at the clock on the wall he noted with amusement that it was 12 pm, way past coffee/tea time, but he wasn’t the average Joe and neither were you, so 12 pm was definitely the perfect time to drink the beverages. With a soft smile, he gently nudged you awake.

“[Y/N], wake up. Rise and shine, sweetheart.”

“Whaaa ?...” you said, groaning and burrowing your face deeper into the pillow.

Saeyoung chuckled and nudged you further. “Come on, sleepy head. Time to wake up.”

“But I don’t wanna..” you mumbled with a pout which made Saeyoung grin.

“The early bird catches the worm, [Y/C],” he said cheekily.

“I don’t want any worm, Saeyoung, leave me alooone. I wanna sleeeeep,” you whined and opened your eyes for a few seconds to glare at him, before shutting them again and dropping your head on the pillow.

He laughed at your failed attempt at being threatening. Deeming it necessary, he jumped from his sitting position and pounced on you. With a yelp, you opened your eyes. No sooner had you opened them than Saeyoung attacked you with his fingers and started tickling your sides.

Loud, boisterous laughter filled the room as you squirmed underneath the redhead, trying to get away from him. His legs trapped your body beneath him, making your attempts futile.

Saeyoung laughed with you, saying, “Are you awake now, or do you still need waking up ?”

With a horrified expression, you huffed through barely contained giggles, “Yes, yes, I’m awake. Please stop !”

“Hmm, you don’t look very awake, maybe I’ll tickle you some more for good measure,” the young man teased you with a huge grin on his face and started attacking you more fiercely.

Even louder laughter and shrieking escaped your mouth as you struggled to get away, all the while begging, “Stah-hap, Sae-heh-young, plea-hease !”

With a deep chuckle, he ceased his movements and moved aside, keeping his hands in front of him as a sign of surrender. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave you alone.”

With a huff, you straightened yourself, your breathing erratic, trying to catch your breath. Saeyoung was sitting at the foot of the bed, gazing at you fondly and you averted your eyes with a barely visible blush, masked by your already flushed face.

Your gaze fell on the two mugs resting on the nightstand –which miraculously hadn’t been knocked over during the entire tickling battle– and your eyes lit up. You turned your head in Saeyoung’s direction again and he only needed to see your face to understand your silent question and with a chuckle he nodded, “Go ahead.”

Beaming, you picked up the mug of [coffee/tea] and took a sip, feeling the hot liquid going down your throat and into your stomach. You sighed contentedly and set it down before grabbing the other mug and handing it to Saeyoung. He took it with an appreciative smile and sipped at it in silence, he, too, letting out a contented sigh.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you glanced at him and decided to start talking. “So, I take it you’re not mad at me anymore ?”

Guilt flashed across his face –you so desperately wanted to erase it, it didn’t belong there, it **shouldn’t** belong there– and he exhaled shakily.

“I wasn’t mad at you. I..I was trying to push you away..” he closed his eyes briefly before opening them and looking you in the eye. “But I went too far. I was desperate to keep you safe, not to get you involved in my problems, to keep you from getting hurt and I.. ended up hurting you myself.

Maybe it wasn’t physical.. but I should know better than anyone that emotional hurt is worse than that.

What I said.. was uncalled for. I went too far, I crossed an invisible line which should never have been crossed, and nothing I say or do can ever take that back.”

At this point he wasn’t even looking at you anymore, instead his gaze was glaring daggers at his lap, his fingers fidgeting.

Your heart ached at the sight and you just couldn’t bare to see him so guilty and broken. Sighing, you opened your mouth and in a gentle, loving voice said, “You can apologize. I don’t need anything but an apology. I am ready to forgive you because, believe it or not, there is someone who loves and accepts you just the way you are, Saeyoung.”

He looked up surprised but before he could get a word out you cut him off. “ **But** , I will forgive you only if you let me in, if you allow me to stand by your side and fight with you. We’ll find Saeran together, you and I. We are stronger together. Just please..let me love you,” you pleaded with tears in your eyes.

Saeyoung wasted no time jumping from his spot on the bed and getting to you, hugging you tightly with tears of his own.

“I promise. We’re together from now on. But please don’t cry. Not because of me, not because of anything. Not ever. Please,” he begged while hugging you tighter, pulling your head into his chest.

You nodded weakly and burrowed your face deeper into his soaked shirt.

A few minutes passed and you finally pulled apart, his arm around your back not quite leaving its place. You gazed into each other’s eyes and you didn’t know who leaned in first but next thing you knew your lips were pressed against his in a soft, short kiss. He made a move to pull away but you grabbed him by the back of his head and smashed your lips once more, kissing more heatedly and passionately.

After a couple of minutes, you both broke the kiss, panting and trying to catch your breath. Soft smiles adorned both of your faces as your eyes and his twinkled with happiness.

“I love you, Saeyoung. Now and forever.”

“I love you, [Y/N]. Now and forever."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is alright. I don't usually write angst with no happy ending or something of the sorts, and I don't even know how angsty this angst even is, so I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> Check out my other 707 story if you liked this one. Likes and comments are welcomed and appreciated. I would love to know what you thought about this.


End file.
